It is also a story of regret and of the betrayal that Craig is still coming to terms with. "I let them down," he says of the Clough family. Life since has felt like an attempt to atone. Though he cannot repair relationships, as the book's title suggests, he wants to be good. There would not be another opportunity. Clough died in 2004. "There was also the socialist side of him. Although he did not know how bad our lives were, he could see that they were not fantastic and he wanted to give us different experiences. We suddenly had bicycles and sports gear, experiencing things others weren't. "I have got to go and win those events, that's the sort of things that motivate me now.